If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
there is puke in my bra ... again
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
