he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
