If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just forgot I was standing up.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
