As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
