dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
