Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
