Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
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I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
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You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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