my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
