Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Betty ford says i'm here all night
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
