got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
