i jhust puked up my retainher.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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