Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
