I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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