Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
