Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
