so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
