he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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