Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
