some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize