dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
