You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
