I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
