My hair reeks of homosexuality.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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