This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
