drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
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he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
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Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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