Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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