I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize