batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
