i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
