He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
