Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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