you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
