my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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