I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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