i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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