Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
