Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
