Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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