Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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