I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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