Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
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Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
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Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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