We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
