Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
