the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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