Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Randomize