i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
