I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
