It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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