Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
