dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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