It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize