Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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