Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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