Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
