community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
