I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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