Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
