I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
