Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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